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This morning, I came across the narrative below, about A. A Milne’s, Winnie the Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore and it reminded me that people, in general, don’t know how to be a friend to someone who is depressed. I’ve encountered friends who are absolutley supportive when you are happy and relevent in their lives. But then simply drop off when you’re not successful, exuberent or able to give them all of your attention. The term “friend” and “sister” becomes less meaningful when it’s truly time to be supportive. I’ve realized that a number of these friends are truly at a loss of how to be supportive and another number are not truly in the friendship to be supportive at all. Truth be told, I have been in each of these positions. But, mostly, I’ve been in the position of the depressed friend that’s struggling to stay afloat.
You see, it’s quite easy to be a friend to someone who is depressed. All you have to do is sit with them for awhile. You don’t even need to have a dialogue. No questions need to be asked nor deep conversations need to be had. Quite honestly, it’s easier for all parties if we can just hang out without talking about it.
I have a friend that does this with me. She will come over and she will do her homework and I will color in my coloring book. Or we will color together. We don’t have to talk about it, the depression and sadness. We watch movies and make food. That’s it. Nothing at all hard for my friend to do.
Somehow, just her presence makes some of those dark feelings go away for awhile.
There’s no pressure to “snap out of it” nor do I have to pretend to be happy, interesting or at all well.
That’s how you help your sad friends.
How to help a depressed friend with Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore:
“It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore’s stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.
~”Hello Eeyore,” said Pooh.
~”Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet,” said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice.
~”We just thought we’d check in on you,” said Piglet, “because we hadn’t heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay.”
~Eeyore was silent for a moment. “Am I okay?” he asked, eventually. “Well, I don’t know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That’s what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. Which is why I haven’t bothered you. Because you wouldn’t want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now.”
~Pooh looked at Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.
~Eeyore looked at them in surprise. “What are you doing?”
~”We’re sitting here with you,” said Pooh, “because we are your friends. And true friends don’t care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are.”
~”Oh,” said Eeyore. “Oh.” And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better.
~Because Pooh and Piglet were There.
~No more; no less.”
(A.A. Milne, E.H. Shepard)
Thanks for hanging out with me =)
What I’m listening to:
“Catch and Kill” by Ronan Farrow – In this instant New York Times bestselling account of violence and espionage, Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative reporter Ronan Farrow exposes serial abusers and a cabal of powerful interests hell-bent on covering up the truth, at any cost.
Ronan Farrow’s harrowing fight to expose Harvey Weinstein has me captivated and dumbfounded that even large news agencies such as NBC will cower to a cantankerous man with money. I applaud “The New Yorker” for having the brass to stand up to the corruption and expose the predators for what they are. While, I have an idea of the ending of this book, the underlying story has me looking at the world in a whole new way.
This book came into my hands just after I watched ABC’s documentry “Truth and Lies: Jeffrey Eptstein” and I’m starting to put together that there is a larger picture. That there are several people out there that don’t want information to be exposed.
What I’m working on:
Since I am currently awaiting an analysis on the damage to my neck, I have had to stop walking the dogs that I have been walking all summer. I wanted to give the owners something that means these dogs are special to me. This is a unfinished colored pencil drawing of “Kuzi” a Welsh Corgi.
What’s in my zazzle shop…
I love the rudimentary feel of this sketch on the card. It’s simple, but says so much.
“If love was a storybook”… “We would have met on the very first page”
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